I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
