so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize