why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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