I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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