we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
