i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
