whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Randomize
