i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
