You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize