so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
