and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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