420 ftw
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
