He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
