Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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