I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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