I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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