The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
