I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
