Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i think im in europe. pls send help
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