youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize