Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize