you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
