Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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