Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
