she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The uberlube is also flammable
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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