Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
