I want to stick my p in your. b.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
