To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
