he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
