This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize