I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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