doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You are the jesus of drinking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
