My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
