Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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