may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
