So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
