Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
