Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
