You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need to calm my uterus...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
