so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
