Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
