The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
