We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
