Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
