woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
