There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
