Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize