I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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