Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
