How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
