Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
