Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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