why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
