just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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