Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
