Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
